REAL Date Tip #106

January is National Soup Month. Celebrate by going out to a place, in your area, known for its soup. You can also make a favorite soup at home, send the children to someone else’s house, and eat soup by candlelight.

A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.

REAL Marriage Tip #6

Pay attention! When you “pay attention” to your spouse you invest in him/her for what he/she means to you and does for you. You are investing in the one person, other than yourself, who most wants you to succeed. Investment in your spouse, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually leads to a better life for both of you.

REAL Marriage Tip #5

Manners matter! Use your manners with your spouse. Often we treat co-workers, customers, and even strangers better than we treat our spouses. Remember to use your manners and treat your spouse better than co-workers, customers, or strangers.

REAL Date Tip #105

April is couple appreciation month and jazz appreciation month. Take your spouse to a local jazz club and enjoy good music while enjoying being with each other.

A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.

REAL Marriage Tip #4

Hug and kiss your spouse every day. Most of us have heard that a person needs X number of hugs per day. What X is depends on the research you read. They all agree that hugs are good for you.

Here is my recommendation: Hug your spouse at least 10 times per day for at least 10 seconds each. It may seem like a long time to hug but it is a big investment in your marriage. Kiss your spouse at least 10 times per day. Some can be quick, some medium, and there needs to be one or two long kisses each day. Click here for a description of types of hugs and kisses.

REAL Marriage Tip #3

Go to church together. Church attendance is correlated with marital satisfaction. Those who attend more often describe themselves as happier than those who do not attend very often.

REAL Marriage Tip #2

Be an ACE!

Assume the benefit of the doubt with your spouse. Believe that he/she means well.

Clarify what you hear and what you see. There may very well be good intent in what you hear or what he/she is doing. Your spouse may also be dealing with something that could use a loving response from you.

Explain your expectations. Let your spouse know what you can do to help or what you think and feel about what is going on. Keep it focused on reaching mutual goals. One of those goals, stated or not, is likely “we want to love each other and enjoy being with each other.”

REAL Marriage Tip #1

Use the REAL acronym to organize your investment in your marriage.

The “R” is Romantic, which is a “we” mindset. You are in it together. The “E” is Encouraging which is a manner of speaking to each other. Say or do something that will encourage your spouse, from his/her point of view, each day. The “A” is Adaptable which is a way of working together. Sometimes we have to adapt what we are doing to be most effective. Be adaptable. Finally, the “L” is Loving which is a habit of doing for the other. Do something for your spouse each day that he/she will think is nice or helpful.

Rights

Every “right” has one or more responsibilities. – Jim Maxwell

The Mutuality of Marriage

“In a successful marriage, there is no such thing as one's way. There is only the way of both, only the bumpy, dusty, difficult, but always mutual path!” Phyllis McGinley

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